Saturday, January 07, 2006
the cold weather has gotten to me-i've caught a cold. besides a dead brain, i am nursing a blocked nose.
i rather fall sick seriously with a fever or what, rather this blocked nose. still healthy yet not so healthy...it is been a while since i need a doc, i miss the doc! * whahhhaa.
right, besides having a blocked nose, something else is blocked too ! Writer's BLOCK! ARGHHH!=(
i cant seem to get started on Azhar's ICA, thats why i am here in the first place. blogging about writer's block... maybe my writer's block will then disappear? no inspiration as to how to start my conclusion. my god! START a CONCLUSION. *whahahhahaha. hOw ironic can my life be?
______
read ahmadS' post about best friends.
what if i said X is my best friend and i am NOT X's best friend but ranked somewhere DOWN there? thats so... embarrassing? like u got a one sided love affair going on which u mistakenly thought is reciporated.
used to be very sure of myself regarding who is my best friend. but now... huh. not so sure any more. we got so many different social circles and i am not there half the time.
well, nothing has changed on my side and i used to be able to assume confidently on her part. but now, i can only hope that certain things stay the same.
i dun do those best- friends things anymore. at least those potrayed in those Sweet Valley High books kind of activites that i used to follow almost religiously.
i dun spend any time gossiping on the phone with my girl friends, yakking abt sch work, crushes, pop stars, irritating people and clothes.
anyway, what is a best friend? the friend u like most and spend the most time with?
do i need a best friend?
no i dont.
i need true friends. just like i told those ateam interviewers. they had asked what would i do if i make it to ex-co and my friends start getting jealous.
i said, i will ... tell them there is nothing to be jealous of. if they cant get over it.so be it. i 've got no time to care about tiny, shallow, petty hearts.
true friends will be happy for me, in case u forget. despite any jealousies or whatever they might be harbouring.
true friends dun need to be constantly around u, u can just pick things up where u left off and the feel is just as natural and as best-friends-ish as before. now i know why i've got such a small social circle.
my limited social circle is just limited to those who fulfill the criteria above.
so, for me, true = best.