2 weeks into my second year at nyp. and what's my priorities?
what should be my priorities?

good grades?
lose weight?
grow taller?
be more active in cca?
get bf?
exercise more?
find better job?
learn more IT skills?

sigh. i really dunNo.

good grades are not that important to mi. as long as i dun fail.as long as i met my own expectations.

lose weight? yesh, its important to my self esteem. but, this one needs time and support. and i got a mother whO will dIe if she dUn feed mi for about .............5 hours? sigh.

be mOre active in cca? yesh. tryIn. i am doin somethin for SU. i am tryin to help debates. i am dead in drama.... sigh. i am TOTALLY not into anything ........

get bf? enuff said.

find better JOb? yah. i want. as a sales assisst?

learn more IT skills? this is WAY important. but i dun forsee myself signing up for anything.

BUT

besides for good grades. i dunno what is my next priorties anymore.

oh.
my.
god.

i have never seem a lecturer like the T4. she is unbelieveable. unbelievably....horrible and other like wise adjectives.she gives mi the creeps already.
like watching a train wreck.
cant tear my eyes away from the increasingly gruesome image, even tho i noe it will be
extremely terrible.

rule one
DO NOT say 'ya".
say "yes".

omg. she is like that grandmere in princess diaries series. except of coz WAY WAY less lovable.
so what if she went to england b4?
whatever ur kind intentioN, you can phrase in a more friendly, nicer way, ya?

i didnt even bother to tell her to call mi eve.
i dun wan to converse with her aT ALL.
am avoiding at alL coSt,

LooKs lIke i will becOme a four eyed frog, again.

yesterday, my left eye was sOooO red that it was scary.i was SOoO worried , not to mentioned scared that i might lose my eye, and eye sight.
i think it was infected
by my contacts leNS which apparently was not cleaned enough.

i should nOe better. ITS NOT clean enough. lol. sO how huh? now left eye is STILL red,
with bloOd vessels explodin all Over the place. now it feels kinda PaIn. like, it is bruised.

dammmmmmmmmmmmm........i think my MP3player will haVe to wait.[ i am aimin for the 5gig MuVo........] i havee tO get mY spec first.

sigh. it is like, when i dun spend, i dun spend aT all. when i haVe to spend, i will have tO spend BigGG.
my spec will be $300++,coz i have such hIgh degree.

MP3 PlaYEr??
i think. will have speNd like, $400, for a decent one. unless i compromise for a lesser gig one. which i think.. most likely have to dO so.

i mean, if i add the 2 things up, it will be , round up, 1K, u noe~~~~~~~~~

*sObz*

the henna chop, the freshies did for mi. nice? 

after and before:the marshmallows the freshies made 

so i went to the debates practise yesterday with alex.
didnt really want to go, coz it was going to startand end late. and i dun really wanna see Joey ever agian. its too embarrassin how right he was about the baptism-of-fire episode.

anyway. sO i went. for fun. coz i sincerely like the thrill of debating.

and there was only one ger there when we went! the president. melissa. who used to be in stagearts alsO.

anyway, in the end, only mi and nas got to speak. coz nas has totally NoT defined the topic and theres nothing to clash and i was too ignorant and noT-seasoned to turn it to my advantage.

so, the thing is, i always feel that i come out of debating feelin i learn something and how ignorant i was before. i really need to read newspapers.

and overall, CDC just gimme a kind of pathetic feelin/. coz there is like, less than 10 committed menbers who goes to trainin.
practises starts late.
ends even later.

and i've got so many ideas to spice up the image of the club to make it more appealin~.
like,
louder , more colorful notice boards?
Tshit for a sense of unity?
a camp for bondin?

joey is SoO crap and full of it. but he has a boston[ ? i forgot from where......] accent sO i kinda like listenin to him talk. his voice is kind of melodic. lol.

but i dun really wan to join the club. STrESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean, i am not horse-duno-its-face-long type. i noe my limitations. maybe i can be a kind of honourary menber?

and stagearts. sigh. so dead. if i go , also dunno for what.
how?

Another JuNK!i like! lol. 

They Feed us with Junk!=) 

AT the DE event. 

sometimes. i suffocate.

because i feel that i cant communicate to people around mi mentally.

to G. PLS STOP SMSing mi.
i reply coz u were already a friend. if i dun reply. i just look like a freakin rude persoN. and besides, i dun wan u to flood my inBox. and i am not a rude person.

jesus christ!!!!!!!!!!! stop askin mi ' whatcha doin'. its none of ur business, really.
dun ask mi what time i go to school.
i dun need to noe abt ur 'sokka'.
i hate the way u spell the shortcuts.
i hate the way, u r sendin the signals,
i hate the way i might be jumpin at the wrong conclusions.
i hate havin to guess.
not knOwin. just guessin. and fearin am i makin the wrong guess?
should i give the benefit of doubt?

but really, i sometimes dread seein ur name when i have a new sms. its bound to be from u.

tO. O.
u r so So SOOOOOOO terribly childish and insensitive.
i feel almost afraid to be associated with when u r haVin this sort of non-kodak moments.
oh man, get a life!!!!!!!!!!! even thou u already have 1. apparently, its not enough.
once is enough. twice is MORE than enough, when u r doin it the third time or even the 2.5th time, its over the line and every1 knows it. and i just dun think i can keep my lunch down anymore. dont u even want a pretense of a mature image?

oops, i forgot. mature isnt what u r lookin for. is it even on ur dictionary? or do u just prefer to be sOoO childish and juV when u r already lookin at twenties?

its MEAN AND CHILDISH AND IT GETS ON MY NERVES.


tO.d.
met you but i dunno U. its a terrible thing to happen to mi.
i hate it.
they say at least i met U. if not, i wouldnt noe peOple like u can exist.
but i wish i didnt.
at least then, the people i see , wouldnt seem so inferior when u came into my mind.


to G.o.D
can i please be given a chance to pursue the possiblities that r swimmin in my head?
can i dun go through the same thing over and over again?
can i have some short cuts please?
can i have a black face and have my friends leave mi AloNe, but still be there for mi?
can i be a rich girl before i die?
can i escape from the mood-spoilin monents more often?

i caught a french movie yesterday.

and i dun even noe the name.

it about a married couple, who found a well-dressed man, who lost his memory on the street. the husband who was super soft hearted, just couldnt bear to leave the old helpless man behind when he saw that the old man was handin money to total strangers.

needless to say, he felt he should take the man to the police or somethin. excpet that he ended up takin the man to his house.

the only word, the old man could remenber was ' simone'. at first they thought that , it was his name. BUT, when the female lead, Giovanna took his suit to dry clean, they found a love letter addressed to Simone. sO, Simone is really the old man;s lover.

fed up with her husband who couldnt hold down a job, Giovanna became increasingly fascinated wif the handsome and intriguing neighbor next blk. She could see him right across the kitchen window. and she loved watchin the guy. she was definately havin the hots for him.

and it was this old man, who managed to let their lives interwine.

the intriguing neighbor, had began a friendship with Giovanna when he was stoppped by the old man while in a pub. and their friendship was soaked with their mutual attraction.

turns out that the guy was also watchin Giovanna in HIS window. and it wasnt just some lie either. he could tell her what she was up to up, in her kitchen. which was the only place he could see her in. besides the pub, which Giovanna didnt really frequent.

and over the other side, the old man's story thickens. Simone is not a girl. Simone is a guy.
the old man was a gay. or a queer.
of coz, their sincere love was obstracized by the society then.
he recounted how they could only communicate their love for each other in coded messages and secret places. and he had lost his one love in the war, and even indirectly bought onto him.
it was kinda heart wrenching.

back to Giovanna, now she and her object of desire has a chance to make love to each other. [ A Night oF pasSion!]
Giovanna, encourage by her best friend AND even with the help of her best friend, plans to cheat on her husband.

While, Giovanna was havin a full pleged make out session with the neighbor, she suddenly noticed the window. she stopped everything and went to take a look out the window.

she saw her husband's lone sihoulette inside the kitchen.
she saw the lights came on and her husband with her 2 kids.

she had to make a choice.

she choose to make a decision which she knew she would regret.


she choose to return back to her hOme, leavin Logenza[ i think thats the cute neighbor's name] behind.

i dunno how come i was attracted by the movie.
but thats the power of a good story. about a man who had a love he had to hide, a woman who had a love she cant have.

its about timing i guess.

in the end, logenza had to leave the nieghborhood coz he had a promotion in his bankin job and had to uproot to somehwhere else.

And even though Giovanna finally chased him at the last minute, she only managed to catch a glimpse of the movin van.

its a sad story, personally. and it leaves to ponder what choices u would have made if u r in Giovanna's shoes. i personally, wouldnt consider it immoral if she had cheated on her husband. afterall, she was havin a rough patch, since her husband could provide enough and screamin at her vulgarities.

and now she has the chance to be with the neighbor who was in love with her, and not just lust!
and i had kinda hope the 2 of them would comsumate their love. i guess i am the kind who rather have the memories than nothing at all. at least this way, u wouldnt be all torned up over what could have been.

and imagine being a gay in the WW2!!!!!!! what a big hoo-ha that would have been if not for the presence of Hitler...
and the endin sond sounded nice too. somethin like, Historia en de Amour? >> history of love?
a french song... hahha. first time i had really listen to a french song.

in the end, Giovanna was wonderin, if she could still remenber Lozenga's voice and even touch as the time goes by.

she wondered if people who stepped into ur life, ever leave a part of them with U when they leave u. if thats the case, then for her, she will never be lonely, for she always will have the menories.............................................................................................

so whatever actually happened in the first place, on the Big day itself?

all of us wake up early for the briefing. and then we had a chop-chop breakfast , then we off to Sentosa le. we r checkpoint 24 and we board the wrong bus. we just so happen to take the one which was more comfy. lol. eh, not on purpose wan. fall asleep on the way...

and the day was bright and sunny. very good. it was ideal for our race.

i tried my best to tan myself without the sea. its toopid. i noe. so i read my book, under the sun, with as much skin exposed as possible. this was made easy when we were given such a large S sized singlet.

no1 came to out checkpoint for the first 2 hours. it was turnin out to be a pinic. it really was. they gave us a bag of snacks which could fill up 3 of us. we had potatoe chips, bread and even sweets. AND we still had lunch. my god. none of us could finish it. lol.

and i was really really upset with Yiting and Syazwan. i dunno how, they managed to drop my delicate samsung hp to the floOr.

my god. i was horrified. felt like crying.!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean, i bought the phone with my hard earned money, and my friends just drop it like dat? i noe its accident and everything, but still, the heart ache when it thought of the worst scenerio at the first moment.

it didnt spoil[ thank god] but it couldnt escape the scratches which made my heart pain.
they asked mi dun be angry, dun be mad, dun be sad.... How cOUld I NOT BE? esp when i really had been takin care of my phone, only to see it bein accidentally dropped??/??

sigh. i learnt my lessOn le. this is a sorry-no-cure lesson which i will never go thru a second time.

took mi a few minutes to get over my shock, and heart ache., then life moves on again. i mean, what do i gain if i stay made at them forever? wrinkles? no thanks.

only a few teams trinkle by, due to some unforseen cockups by the red shirts[ i guess...]
and we have our picnic session on and off, all the while super slack.lol. if not then we would drift off to sleep.

overall, it was a easy task, and it felt like 3 friends hangin outside Delifrance. *whahahah*

went back to sch, doze off again. all of us were sticky and tired. some guys were super sun burnt from their water stations. i assume.

and the only major complaint that the particpants came up with?

- should inform participants that they will be wearin singlets so that they can shave in advance, and/ or prepare deoderant.

eh.........it sorta made sense, esp since i am just the average teenage girl who alsO has hygeine issues.......... But. none of us expected that one comin up, so it was kinda funny to us. lol.

GoSSSip: yiting has this thing for muscular guys in short shorts!!!!!!!!!!!! disgustin! obscene! lol. wherever she went, she was like, bumpin into him. their paths always crossed. fate sia.
[dun deny it le lah,BSA.]

as for mi, i am now slightly burnt. feelin tired. tml still got work. monday have to reach sch by 7.30 for the orientation . so early. and i am grouped with hazel and natalie. both dun really noe well. and natalie is a total stranger. i wonder how we will turn out.

bad? sigh.

i was pangseh by my so called friend. BSA and S. eeeeeeeeeeks. cOZ they rather have kelly instead. coz they felt that if i were the one who was left out, i could deal with it better.
yup, if u put it this way, i would interperate it as a compliment.

i am independent. i dun need to be with the crowd to feel secure about myself.... most of the times anyway. lol. tryin to train myself to have a 100% rate.
but still, even tho i can deal with being a loner, i am still a social creature.

so i will go to sch on mon with some apprehension and anticipation.

oh yah, before i forget, i wanna blog abt that nice guy whO give us a ride and everything.
he is such a freakin nice person. lol.

it was obvious he didnt wan2 to come across as some show off who could drive when he offered us a lift with the way he asked. and he insisted on carryin all the stuff.

he saw mi sleepin, with my head restin on the table , and he woke mi up.
coz he said that if i slept that way i definately would end up wtih muscle cramps the next day.

yyup, this simple act of kindness, i will forever keep in mind.

hahah, do i sound smitten????? i hope not, coz he is a graduate ALREADY!

right people. this is the THIRD time i am bloggin today!!!

why?

by virtue i have nothing to do.

and i dun wanna sleep in the hot, stuffy Student Union room. its HOT HOT HOT.


ok, the briefing was not short-and-sweet. but its kinda amazing to see 4 blindfolded girls settin up a tent all by themselves, with just a single some1 tellin them what to do.

yup. especialllly when it seems so impossible initially.


BUT. the highlight of the day[ oOOps, should be the night, as corrected by Mr S. ]. was. [ of coz ] not anything else, but somethin edible. made of flour, egg aNd CHHHHEESEEEE~.

hahahahahahahahah. mi and syazwan walked to the coffeeshop at AMK. at first wanted to ask BSA to go with us. but she hor, every like dat lor. then she said she wanted to sleep. so in the end, we went without her.

after debating and deliberation. after monents of thoughtful consideration [ major worries abt gettin locked out of the sch.], we went ahead.

mi and S eventually ordered cheese pratas with eggs[ by mistake. coz S couldnt understand tamil, so he just nodded his big head and we got the egg inside.]

and just when we were to waLKed back to sch. some1 stopped us.

defiinately,. the highlight of S's ENTIRE MONTH.[ lol ]

mYy god. i cant believe him. coz that some1 told us to wait for him and a couple of others to go back together. at first i thought it was for campany. later, then the surprising truth was showed to us, much to S's JOYOUS joy.

that some1 could drive, had a CAR[!!!!!!!!!], and was offerin a ride back.

syzwan was like, way way more impressed than mi.
whats with CARS and GUYS??????? lol. he is currently crappin abt dunno-what-envision-dunoo-what-future explanation. lol. cooL. he said he is envisionin his future where he would take MI[!!!!!!!!] to JALAN KAYU TO EAT PRATA..... AT TWO AM.

how nice of u, syazwan. and i would definately accept if by that time i still am NOT grossly overweight. =)

okok. so i dun think i would be driving anytime sooN. i prefer to have some1 volunteerin to be my personal chauffer. hahahha.

we shall see about that ..... in the near future, i hope *hopeful smile*

right. i am in the SU office where i am just being a inactive menber.

i am rottin with yiting and syazwan:) , who says i am rottin together with them and a bunch of other people i dunno coz i am such an inactive menber of this union, +bleah+

i got like, other things more important can>>?? , lol. actually dun have lah, just lazy and lazy and more laziness.

right now, syaz1 is buggin mi ( quote quote ) to see movie with him. OUch !!! my ears!!! lots of loud noises in the backgrd by those enthu people whose names i DUnnO!!!!

okok. how huh>>?? there is some really loud and high pitch laughter behind mi currently.

OMG<> gettin worse.

i cant even hear s( oMG ) yazwan 's gibberish without him leanin near mi. sigh.

peace. suddenly. and OOPS. spoken too sooN>.< *ouXCHHHh*

ookok. how abt bloggin abt just now>>??
our mega "important" breifing session abt the OGL??
right, so important, abt 50% never turned up.

so important, i was yawning and askin syazwan to do the arshad trick. ie. cough-cough-time!!-cough.

right. now they wan mi to finish blog. okok.

i can finish now. i hope they can make us feel all welcomed and enthu for the whole event.^_^

*ouch!!!!!!!!!!!*
the people here aare sOOoOOOO enthu and LoUDddddddddd.

Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be that we're all o.k
.And not to worry
cause worry is wasteful
And unless in times like these

I won't be made useless
I wont be idled with dispair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours
they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but i knew it wasnt ever after

before i start going to scH as a too-pid year 2 in approxiately 5 days, lets recap what happen in my too-pid year 1 [ which i am already missin *sobxz * ]. which i spent practically in a daze, passin by strangers who grew familiar with each passin days...

HigH points of Year 1.

1) being in my class is already a high point.

2)having my grp of friends is a higher point.

3) no Cs is alSo a good way to end my freshman year. [ altho my results isnt stering at all *sob* ]

4) going to the OGL camp-[ its always wat i wanted since my own sad orientatioN, maybe i could make it less sadder for my new peers....]

5) joining the debate mini-tournament. [ it really is a learnin experience . major brain food. [except the prizE wasNt woRTH mY NERVoUsNESS ONE SINGLE TINY PUNY bit.]

6) the SMU debate tournament with all the indian nationals.[ it was the baptism of fire. and i was the worst , literately. they rank us. and i am the last. But again, MajoR cubed, brain food. altho it was fairly, all right, VERY, embarrassing for mi the whole time]

7)skippin azhar's class to go home.[ the simple pleasure in life]

8) havin wendy cakeshop to teach account [ where to find another lecturer like her? she is best !! lol. maybe besides VC? ]

9) our christmas- east coast trip!!!!!! [ fun- fun- fun~!!!!!! can we do it all over again? maybe we can include thoning this time,.?? ]

10) discovered LIMEWIRE.......* lOl *



LOW pOIntS
1) enterin the SMU debate. [ + dui + brain food cant outfight humiliation plus embarrassment ]

2)havin e. as my boyfriend. [ not that he is not a good person. but i should nt have " give-chance -to-see-if-it-could-work-out". it just doesnt work this way for mi. it was somethin i could avoid, i didnt....i caused the train wreak. my bad/...]

3) Havin to take accounting module

4) havin the whoLe L-episode. [ i mean, i dun need the whole world to noe, therfore its a low blow to mi, in this way... dun need all the teasing which i noe was unavoidable... but its cool now. hahha, thank god.]

5) Where Is mY sun tannin trips???

6) Where is our marina-bay-buffet trip????

7)............eh

8)............aH

9)..........huh...


10) WHERE is MY MISTER RIGHT?????

where is he??? is he hidin?>?> am i so hidious he dare not appear>?
just like the next (single ) girl next door, i am still waitin for my mr right.
but i am satisfied with the way my life is til he magically appears and i lay my eyes upon him.

ehhhhhh, actuallly, i dun have much of low points. hahaha.
my life is a series of pseudo-highs coz i am a positive persOn. lol. except for things i cant contrOL, the rest of the stuff, i think i can deal with it even under extreme conditions.

Ok. what happened yesterday?
i changed my blogskin.i forgot to save the HTML [ actually i thot i did, turns out i didnt... dui.]

so ladies and gentleman.

i have no tagboard again.

not until huien comes back anyway. i think i will get the password from her, dun wan to create another account le.

but most importantly, i want to spread my joy at how i totally slack my day away, with no1 to rush mi/ pressurise mi.

i met up with my bestest friend in the world to go do our fav activity.

we went to Kbox!!!
!yayayaya!

so we went there, bright and early. and stayed til it was dark and ready to rain.
we were there for a grand total of 8 hours...
can u believe it!

it is a record for mi. and i dun think i will be breakin it anytime soon.
i dun even want to break it. lol.

who ask the person to plant the idea inside our heads.
by misleadin us that it will only costs six dollars. but actually it is ten lor.
but whatver lah.we already stayed. i bet this is exactly what they wanted.
innocent young girls who fell for the six dollars line and then too bo-chap to fight back or leave.

but the truth is i was happy and glad to stay behind and sing my entire afternoon away.
its been a long time since i last went. [ ONE WHOLE SEM . how pathetic is that!!!]

and stayin there the way we did, means there is no rush to finish any songs. we got time, man.lol. and u feel really satisfied and it wont leave u with any urge to go kbox again anytime in the near future.

i think i should do it this way. dun go for a few months. then, when i finally go,just sit there and spend 1/2 the day there, catchin up. rather than, always rushin though 1/2 the song, coz there is NO time. haha, i prefer plenty of time, anytime.

i kept choosin the fast paced song. and CY choose the slooow songs, so it kinda evens out. i realise, i prefer singin fast songs even i might not neccessarily be able to keep up with the pace.lol.
there is just a kick there lah. rather than singing some sad songs which will only sink my bouyant mood. in fact towards the end of our mega long k-session, i made a conscious effort to find rock songs to sing. lol.
other wise, when i see the sad lyrics , and hear the even sadder melody ...
i will also feel sad. guess i am a emotional persOn afterall.

and i also realize that i am a super Yanzi-karoaoke-freak!
i bet 85% of the songs i chose was from her.
ok, luckily i still have my voice.

weili. dun. like. to. take. pic. 

at break.i noe i bo-liao. thank you. 

for last 2 days. when the clock reached 10Pm. i will be ridiculously happy.

hahahaha. i dunno why. suddenly a surge of endorphins flood my body and i just feel soOOoO happy for the simple fact that i am going HOME after a day of work. no matter how my work day was. [ work day wasnt horrendous......haha.]

and yesterday, CY asked mi to go Kbox. WHAHAHAhahahaha. she asked just when i was feelin tired that whenver we go out .....i always find have to be the one to find her first. i noe, this kind of issue is SOoOOOO sec sch, but none the less, it made my endorphins kana released even more.......... lol. whahhahaha. [ ok, i shall stop being soOOoO estatic and kind of insane.]

so, later, i am going kBox with her. and maybe i shall shop around to reward my weeks of hardwork.

and i am alsO feelin hapPPPpY that the stupid z&^ haf not found my blog ......YET. lol. its better if he doesnt read it of coz. coz then i will always have a upperhand regardin the add of my blog because i KnOW he cant live it down without knowing.

sO, right now. he is still askin mi for clues.
and. i. am. not.givin.at.all.

and for some reasOn, ashley is smsing mi all the time.
really! like since he is awake or waT. my god. why??
not that i dun like to sms a friend. its better than if he suddenly calls. coz i dun like to entertain calls/.
but..............................

and yesterday, he stopped by FA to buy cookies from mi.
and then~
when he left, my friend was like, ' does that guy like U.....????'

i almosT choke on my saliva~.
mi;" of COZ not."
her;" but. i think he like U/' its in the way his eyes looK at U.'
mi;* paninc *" errrrrrR. i HoPE nOt."

and somehow the phrase, ' the way his eyes look at u....' is so so familiar.

i think SH used it when he was helpin to shield mi frOm L. lol. that seeeeems sOOoO long ago now. lol. yup yup yup. i had asked whether he think L likes mi. and then he said.

' it so so damM obvious. it is in the way his eyes look at ya. its different.'

ah. the way the eyes look. isnt a mystery how the eyes could betray even the darkest and deepest secrets? sigh.

does my eyes betray the fact that i have no interest at this moment?

i was talkin to my old friend. just now. still am, actually, on MSN.

anyway, he is a mega smart persOn whom i had a thing for way way way way lOooOng ago.
there, i shall admit this horrific mistake of my young heart ages ago.lol. it got fooled under his pretense of a intelligent and funny persona.
he is now in a unversity.

anyway.
its becoz he is such a freakin smart and witty person that i started to develop a crush on him. he could always make mi laugh out loud. [i guess i just have a thing for smart people???/ the only previous bf i had was also super smart. in the Uni also leh.....which i will never make it.]

and he is just as sarcastic toward mi as i am towards him. outwardly, he is always critising mi, lookin down on mi. [ and i guess inwardly......its still the same way.....] and we are always havin this competition to see who can do better.

and really, man. he likes to attack my self esteem and confidence. its a very funny thing to him when i get mad and cross and upset coz i always try my best not to let it show that he is gettin to mi with what he said. at least not in front of him.

and the things he attack r always so superficial!!!!!!!!
ie
1) my flat face [ i am sorry i dun have a sharp nose. big defined eyes like some movie stars with exceptionally good genes. i just have the flat chinese/ korean Look.]

2) my hair which lack volume. [ really?! wat do guys noe abt hair? jeez. i so dun need this. and i have thick hair! how can thick hair lack volume ? he seem to think i have little hair on top of my head for some reason.......]

3]my chest which lack development.[ i cant help it. *sobs* i am not khariyah. and i didnt noe abt papayas til it was 2 late.....]

but i always attack right back at him. just as mercilessly.
which would result in verbal sparrin session. which is apparently very hilarious to onlookers.

and i always feel happy when i have to a super acidic one liners to ans his questions. its llike, SCORE ONE FOR EVE!!! * !!!!.....applause ....!!!*

but we always ends the whole sparrin session on a friendly note.

...> our friendship is still intact. which is a miracle man. lol.

so this teaches mi [most ] guys r all super-superficial.

therefore, findin some1 who could accept my biggest 3 outwardly liabilties is so superhard!
and i dun1 any1 to like mi just coz he happens to thinks i am cute.
[ i am not. i personally think i am NOT cute.]


but back to this guy.
now that my crush is over , [ it was over the moment i realize he is tat superficial ] we do have this kind of solid friendship. at least, i would like to think it is solid.

and friendships like ours are hard to forge. yup yup.
haha, i am freakin lucky. after all, i really did learn a lot from him.

NO ZEN MICRO FOR MI.............

its a sign. its not fated. how could that persOn choose to quit? y Now? y not one week later??
it could have make a difference............

just as well, i couldnt really afford it at this point of time anyway.

oh. i dont like the new NewPaper. there isnt really hard news. i mean, its A NEWSPAPER. a newspaper is SUPPOSED to carrry hard news even though the new paper is a featured news kind of paper.....

i think the new format sucks. NO good.
nothing is good except classifieds.

the tv guide is so small, its only half of whats it used to be and cluttered with the ads. jeezzzzzzzzzzz. Y? how to see?
dont they noe the tv guide is very important to people to mi?? its the one of the few pages i read! [ after the startin of HEY! pages. ]

and the good thing? [ i am not sOoO prejudiced 1. i am an objective persOn.]
the good thing is they managed to wendy watever-the-surname the super -bloggerto be a colummnist.

and the latest article she wrote is that
do singaporeans buy ME shirts to be different or the same when ME is really supposed to signify one's individuality. how individual can one get when u see people rangin rom teenagers ragin with testosterone to aunties lackin oestrogen wearin the same thing???

and i think she make sense. she also said every singaporean young female is skinny [ or want to be skinny ] and rebonded , wear a tank top and jeans.

no1 is adventourous enough to try something in case people stare.

she didnt condemm these people. she ended with " pass the tank top to mi please" to imply, she is just like them............

i guess i fall under the catergory people she writing about.
i always dressed sloppy coz i am lazy and dun see any need to doll up or seek attention.
and the real reason is i am lazy. afterall, which girl doesnt like to be all dolled up? [ maybe i should get a personal image consultant...]

i wear t shirts and jeans. NOt even a tank.

and i am rebonded. [althou i am thinkin that when i cut finish all the robonded parts, i wanna curl it.......]

so, its like, i am just one of the clones out there. where is my individuality??????????
haha, and i always think that individuality is very very important.

maybe i should start payin more attention to how i dress?
lol. god, i dread the thought even now. i cant imagine myself like maxine starin at my reflection, puttin on makeup every single day! [ in fact, puttin contact lens also make mi sick, i am thinkin of switchin to specs totally. not because of BSA. its for my self. contact lens aint good for the eyes at all. and i wan people to see how ugly i am with spec. then if they still wan friends with mi , thats means they accpet the real mi......eh, i am thinkin too much.]

but should there be a need to be different just for the sake of being different. we r all already different to start with.

omg. i am confusin myself. i dunno whats the point of mi writin this...................

went to sentosa bright and early.

for the downtown escapade.

and

we were so slack


we didnt even finish the race within the 5 hours they given us b4 we collapse in BK.

and i continued my daily tradition of takin a scoop of ice cream since this week. lol. this time the ice cream flavour is fruit of the forest from andersen's ice cream. its creamy vanila with hints of rasberry? not very sweet, so it was quite nice......=)

and then i met up with YF to go library @ sun plaza... for some reason at any library other than wdl, i can find lots of stuff interestin to read. i almost had to lug my stuff back.....

and she was LATE~~~~~~~~~~~=(

i reached early and had to wait for a longer time. like 1/2 hour in total. hahaha., due to years of trainin durin the sec sch yrs, she gamely accepted the punishment of forfiet.

ie. buy mi a drink.
it used to be whoever is late, will buy the other person a candy bar. somethin cheap, lah, since none of us is superduper rich who has a bank VP for a parent and who buy ipop just becoz he/she think its Cute... now, every1 is health and weight conscious.....no1 wan a candy bar anymore....lol.

this is alsO a age old tradition started by mi. whahahahah. i was super duper thirsty!!!! not enough water in sentosa. everything there is over priced. and i have no extra cash.

my bank account has a proud balance of only

THREE DOLLARS AND FORTY FIVE CENTS.

how pathetic can i be? i am so hangin on til i get my next pay check. i also duno where did the money went to.
ah. i noe. it went to my transport. sigh. why cant they have cheaper transportation fees for broke students like mooi? how r we diff from the jc students???

and how to support my expenditure?
so far, i still never made it to a single movie in the holidays. and the stupid price is going up to NINE DOLLARS.
OMG. i am so not able to afford it on a regular basis. y is it so expensive?? and they still wanna fight against piracy? so not gonna make it man. esp when talkin abt the average students. i rather spend my nine dollars toward my savin account for zen micro than a stupid movie ticket.

not a single trip to the kbox either.
and there is so many outing that we came up with...

= thon at east coast. eat at the food village. of coz, b4 that can go suntan and cycle and stuff.
=go chomp chomp. [ but so ulu. duno y BSA said she wan go.....i duno how to go. ]
= go marina eat buffet [ alex's idea. eh, not bad lah, but must eat a lot to eat back ur $$ /? ]


ehhhh.......y all got to do with food wan????
i am not a food addict ok? just that i cant resis them....most of the time anyway=P

speakin of zen micro. YF told mi i could get one @ 350!!!!!!!!
i wan ONE. i wan. I WANT !

eh, i was so so excited when she forwarded mi the email. i am like, i-wan-i-wan-i-wan!!!!
but til now, still no news. kill my spirit man. so sad sia. i am willin to settle with [almost] any color![ except the red, its 2 loud for mi, black, my bro has it already, and pink. disgustin . not mi. at all. purple would be nice......+dreamy eyes+....]

i am back from the chalet. which i attended for only the first part.

it was rainin in the morning. RAInLINGGGG.....can u believe it?????????? literately pourin cold water down on mi,.........

sigh. so how? all my plans to go cyclin, sun tannin all KApOK.... dashed........

but whatver. met up with alex to take the lOoNg train ride there and shop for the food with syaz, max together.

when we reached the chalet it was 4 plus ? and still drizzlin. BUT lucky that when we started the bbq fire. it was NOT drizzlin anyway. YAH.

rachel and syaz started the fire. * claps *
fire guaze 2 small.
food kepy fallIN off * eyes rOOoLL *
marshmallow was NicE~
movie was 3 in a rOLL.
the last was Sixth sense.
felt fear, no1 had defense.

then
sLeep , sleeP.

but of coz, MaXine was the highlight.
she was drunk,
kept callin for arshad * Where is Aaaaaarrrrrshhhhhad *
god. it was funny and interestin to watch a drunk persOn.

my life is clean and simple to witness any drunk persons. i dun club. dun think i ever will? but anyway, she is the first person i seen drunk. altho she refused to admit that at the point of time.

it was like watchin a train wreak. auto self destruct.

after sLeep, go work liaO. at novena.

it was.,STRESSIN~~~~~~~~ my god. really. so stress i had no appeitite. sigh.
stress becoz got maxel. got senoirs. got pressure to sell. and I COULDNT SELL A SINGLE BOZ
AT ALL..........

Up til when we r about to call it a day. AND then i manage to sell 8 boxes to the big fish lady~.

**major PHEWWWWWWWWWWWW**

a close shave. i hate what would happen if i really got a zerO/. i wonder would they look at mi differently. like.......what is she doin here when she aint got any capabilities??

anyway, the shop people V V V nice.....haha. there is this guy who looks like he is only 20~~~~ such a baby face, coz he claims he is already 30!!!!!!

is he tellin the truth????????
anyway, its relief workin with Azel. coz she is some1 like mi.........and we can work together in pairs. so itsnt individual work all the times. it is teamwork!!!!

haha,. and we did well=)
or else i will drown myself in ice cream.
coz i believe
ice cream make MI happy~~~~~~~~[=) ] [ (=]

today is supposed to be the first day of our chalet.

and as mentioned, i was lookin forward to it.

i even woke up early. guess i am excited abt it.

and it has to be RaInING ?????!!!!!!

god~ guess i dun need to gO sun tan or cycle liaO. sian diaO. the rain even sorta spoils the mood.

so i am now, starin blankly at the comp screen, eatin my two dollar macdonald breakfast.............

i think bein my mother is one unlucky job. my ma was tryin to talk to mi while i was still half alseep, i remenber askin her to shut up and go away and not askin mi anythin abt breakfast.......what a bad girl i am.............