ROCK ON in style.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

the five of us went for lunch, as usual. but what was not usual was our conversation topic.

for ...........we were talking about...............................BGR!

hahah. its rare we talk abt it... coz not of us attached mah. this topic could be potentially depressing. but somehow we talked abt it today. why huh? forgot liao.

syax even talked abt the GF who could have been FOREVER but migrated to cananda. so sad. they would have been together if not the canada-issue. and the relationship was already 1/2 yr old..........so sad.............-tears-

so syaz asked how many ex i had. ( lesser than one hand. yes, tis the truth.) then, asked abt how many guys i rejected. lol. ( about 2 hands. round up 2 hands. but the actual no is less than 2 hands...) they wanna hear stories. but too bad i am private limited. lol. 2 bad kelly or maxine not there lah.

then, we can have The-NeverEnding-Story part.......103. lol. which reminds mi, i like the movie of the same name.

then S asked who dumped who in each of my relationship.( erm. mi.!) .......so i kinda appeared like a heartbreaker i guess.

the crux of this entry is here.

one of them said i am BUAYA. BUAYA? what the heck is BUAYA? so later i found out that... ...

BUAYA IS A FLIRATATIOUS PERSON USUALLY MALE.

sigh. so this person thinks that i am a flirt. sorta saddening that he would see mi as a flirt. i mean......not as if i flirtED with him. or he witness mi do such thing........... but seriously, i never see myself as a flirt b4. in fact, i would describe myself as......passive and wallpaper. i mean, if i flirt with guys, most of them would run AWAY , no? lol. sorta disgusting to put myself as in a flirt's shoes, doing what a flirt do.

and its also sorta disappointing to hear that coming from a friend. or some1 who i regard as a friend. who would pass such a judgement in a flash. to mi, a flirt is some1 who do not take love seriously. who just hop onto the train with the next best thing every time there is some1 new. it's like a degrading statement to my character and intergrity and my ai-qing-guan.

i used to think i belong to that ri-jiu-sheng-qing type. now i think i am a yi-jian-zhong-qing type. i guess, theoritically speaking, i still suppport the frist type. but so far, i displayed type 2 actions/.....

the bottom line is , its the little things that i care most about. if this statement came from some1 who i dun take as a friend, i probably wouldnt be so bothered.

so., whatever. perceptions are hard to change anyway. at least i noe thats the kind of words u would use to describe mi.

i have a friend who will be getting engaged. or at least seriously thinkin abt gettin married. and she is only 24.!!!!!! still a student and not even working. and here i am , already 18. suddenly, i dun feel at all young or carefrree. i am not even remotely attached. not even having a crush on any1. ............. let alone get engaged in the forseeable future. so i think i kinda envy her........ but getting married brings about another whole set of problematic issues................

6 years isnt that far away. where will i be ? climbing the corperate ladder? slacking at home?

will i still be alone? thats not so unreal, u noe? if thats coming true........ i think i better prepare to go somewhere where the population lacks girls.

P.S.....to U noe who u r.( hopefully) .appreciate your kind thoughts. but i just wanna walk alone. at least at that point of time.

7:31 PM

THE PERSONj

EVE.A conflicting person. social and aloof. loud and shy. unpredictable and yet is a straight-laced.
THIS place is about her relationships entries, FYI.

THE PASTj