ROCK ON in style.

Friday, March 18, 2005

i am here to blog abt yesterday, couldnt do it yesterday coz come home too late liaO. too tired. plus the fact the cOm is used by the superglued - butt.
be warned : this is gona be A LLLLLOOOOnG entry!

all right. yesterday was pretty eventfUL. i went for a nice and long jog. long meanin half an hour, this is long enough for mi. whahahha. no1 was there. not a lot anyway, the sky was cloudy. the sun was hidden by the clouds. so it was gooD. can feel the breeze .....=)

then i went MSN, and saw huien. chat a bit and then she say she will help mi do tag board. whhahah. so now i have a tagboard and people who tag there..? say thank you to huien for makin it possible!!! lol.

then had to hurry to work. work was especially tiring. coz we had to scrub the oven grill.
from bronze to silver!!!!!!!!! so dammm tiring!!!!!!! sigh. i think my arms got a really good exercise from it. i think i am gonna gain a few pounds of muscles from it. and in the midst of it, i received a call from my ex.

i was so surprised and awkard. he called when i washin the grill and my hands were dirty and stained with the cleanin thing. so my another friend had to hold the phone for mi while i talk.
lol. it reallly is pretty funny, if u think abt it. i couldnt help but laugh lor while talkin to him and wishin he will faster shut up.

he wanted to see mi.

sigh. so after work, he really came to fetch mi. i was ...............apprehensive. scared? not eager at all to see him. i knew he came just so he could ask mi to patch up with him .i dreaded it coz i know i cant give him the ans he hopes to hear.

anyway, he asked where i wana go and i said: 'Home"

the ride home seem longer than usual. i was even beginnning to suspect he was drivin in circles. lol. hahah. its stupid of mi. i admit.

anyway, the gist is that through out the whole ride, is that he kept askin mi to patch. and i kept playin the cruel, evil person. kept refusing.

mi;" lets just be friends."
him: " why????????? i still like U! i feel that if we dont give it another shoot, its not fair. i will change! i will not repeat my mistakes! i will treasure u even more. i will make time for U, can u just give mi another chance?"
mi;" no. sorry. no. no way. no go."

when he heard the words " no go", he launched into a analogy involving traffic lights.
MY GOD! felt like bashin my head already.

him;" why not? y cant u gimme a chance??'
mi:" coz i dun like u enough~ i like u, but i dun love U( geddit???)" i dun need a relationship with some1 who i dun love. dun like. dun admire."
him;" give mi a chance, i can prove to U that u will in the future....."
mi;" no"./

we kept sayin the same things, both just as stubborn as the other. i think we could have been a pair of really good friends. LOL. sigh. and we got so drain from repeatin the same thing. got so thirsty. i cant stand it!

so how? how do i make it clear to him that now its not the time. he is the wrong person at the wrong time? (actually, its already very clear with way i talk.....+ snicker+.....just that he refuse to accept it.)

reasons why i wont patch.

1) i dun like U in that way, ( personally, i think this reason is strong enough,.)
2) i dun like the way u r stubborn
3)i dun like the way u say u will change for mi. ( i dun need u to change. i think if i am in love with u , i will be in love with ur flaws too. imply, i am not in love with U/.)
4) i dun like the fact u broke ur promise.( say wont go my blog, BUT still go somemore?!)
5)i dun need u corrupting mi, teachin mi the short cuts in life.( i dun believe in short cuts to success)
6)i like the way i am now.( very, thank u very much. i found out i dun need ur support, ur encouragment , ur shoulder or ur un-funniness.)
7)i just want to be free.( u like to control mi too much. conform mi. hate it.)
8) i just want to be friends....with U.

so, am i very wicked. i dun believe in second chances.if u waste it the first time round, is it my problem? i dun believe in regrettin the decisions that i had made.i dun believe in turning back. most importantly, i dun believe that you r the one for mi. and sO. i shall just remain the way i am , til the some1 appears. or i remain a spinster forever lor.

and at this point of time. i dun really care.

10:55 AM

THE PERSONj

EVE.A conflicting person. social and aloof. loud and shy. unpredictable and yet is a straight-laced.
THIS place is about her relationships entries, FYI.

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